Nothingness

The number of times I have just wanted to answer my phone and hear my Fathers voice on the other end saying, 'Hello me dear' to hear him give off because I haven't done something or returned something. Missing someone sucks! It totally sucks! I have things I just wish I could talk to Dad about, things I want to ask him and now I can't. It is a horrible feeling. Missing someone because they are away on holiday is a totally different kind of missing, a missing with an end. There is no end to the kind of missing a death brings. I know I am lucky to have had my Dad as long as I did, I am 41 and he was 80. He drove me so mad at times as I did right back at him. I wish I had appreciated our time together more. I just want him back, the way he used to be not the way he was for the past couple of years but just my big strapping strong Daddy.

Missing sucks!