I know it will be a year of first and lasts. First Christmas without him, last time he was alive, last thing he said, last photograph taken, first anniversary.
This time last week Dad was alive, if you can call being hooked up to everything going living. He had been living until about 4 months ago and then he began just existing. We lost him after his two week stay in The Royal, that's when he gave up and that's when he just wanted to die.
Today I just felt so sad, I still feel guilty for not bringing Mum up while Dad was still conscious although I don't think she blames me or is angry about it she still figured he was with us while his heart kept beating. I know Mum had a bad morning she said she let a lot of emotion out today when things finally hit her a bit.
She started to clear out some clothes and we are slowly getting through paper work and things that need sorted. I worry for her.
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