Somebody told me the other day that "Life does Not begin at 40. Life begins when the last kid moves out and the dog dies.
Ok so here’s the deal, I have decided to carry out a year long photographic project trying to show the concept that ‘Life begins at 40’ I decided to start this blog while I am still 39 perhaps so I can say, I started my blog in my 30’s or just while my mind is still young and in its prime (I read somewhere that once you hit 40 your brain cells start to go a bit goofy so I figure I only have two more days of being comprehensible.
My life so far…
- I have about 8 O Levels, a few CSE exams and several other Pitman typing and word processing stuff. I also went on to gain my ECDL Computer Driving Licence and a first aid qualification which I don’t think really counts as I think I was supposed to go back every 5 years or so and sit it again. I guess peoples choking reflex must evolve with time. This did come in handy when my friends baby son started to choke so he was swiftly chucked over my knee and thumped on the back (thumped is the technical term for the medical procedure I carried out on him).
- Well I have now spent as many years living without my parents as I did living with them.
- I have been through a 14 year marriage ending in divorce but which produced two amazingly different girls and spat out a much wiser and stronger single woman!
- I have had a serious relationship which lasted lasted about 3 years and ended with me kicking him out with style and spat out a much much wiser and a little older stronger single woman.
- I have dated on and off since and have come to believe that most men are total tits! No wait, tits are useful things! Aww that is perhaps a little harsh I do know one or two great guys.
- I own my own house apart from the mega chunk the bank owns but won’t flipping well keep repaired!
- I run my own business which has always made a small but liveable profit.
- I share my house with a dog, a cat, and two fish.
I left school half way through completing my A levels to take a crummy full time job working in a solicitors office for £37.50 per week. I married my second boyfriend (my first one consisted of meeting at a school disco, kissing him outside while waiting on a lift home then meeting up with him for a walk to his house to meet his mum, kissing in the park, listening to him sing 'Hey Mickey' I never heard from him after that day) who I met on 23rd March 1983 when I was 14. Three years later after we saved jointly for an engagement ring we became engaged and just over two years later, 23rd May 1988 we were married. Our first daughter 'L' was born in October of that year and no she wasn't 4 month premature! Our second daughter 'H' was born in 1994. I worked part time while my kids were little for a while in the solicitors office and then as a child minder.
Being a stay at home Mum as well as other emotional/psychological issues coupled with having a couple of kids by C Section my weight ballooned and about a year after H was born I was tipping the scales at just over 20 stone. Something in me just snapped when one day L came downstairs wearing a purple satin night shirt of mine she was shouting 'Look at my tent' Hmmm. Another factor in the life changing decision I made to lose weight was the rather sudden and premaure death of my brother's mother-in-law. A lovely straight talking lady who adored her grandchildren and spent hours knitting jumpers and cardigans for them but who also had extreme excess weight. I realised then if I didn't do something significant to change my life I may end up losing it before I have the chance to see my kids grow up never mind someday enjoy having grandchildren.
So began my relationship with Weight Watchers, and within a year I had lost about 7 stone. This impacted my life in so many ways, going from a size 28 to a size 14, shopping in any ladies clothes store instead of the specialized 'outsize' shops, feeling pretty again so many things changed. The biggest downside was that as my confidence grew my husband's jealousy, insecurity and suspicion grew. As my social life widened through a job change he became more and more controlling, needing to know exactly where I was all the time, who I was with, what time I was due home etc. Having been a faithful wife all our married life and infact since we met I believe this behaviour was the start of the slippery slope which eventually led to our divorce.
The aforementioned job change was when I started as a face painter. Crazy job I know but it was fun. I went from childminding to face painting, couldn't get far from kids! Still it got me out of the house and mixing with people in the real world and was a nice stepping stone back into the workforce. I took a job in a department store after that for a few years and then 6 months in an office which re-inforced what I already kinda knew and that was that I HATE working in an office. In 2000 I started my training to become a driving instructor, eventally passing all the exams by the end of 2001 and I kick started my own little driving school in 2002 which I still run on a part time basis.
Just over 2 years ago I bought a digital SLR camera, on the advice of a very good friend I chose to go down the Canon route rather than Nikon and he also helped and advised me with loads of settings and what everything was. Through IM messages on MSN with him I learned loads about my camera and through his critique of the photos I sent to him I started to develop my own skill and judgment. I am ever indebted to him for all our online tutorial sessions he was so patient because I have no doubt I asked some totally dumb ass questions.
At first my photographs were simply taken by me for me but after showing some to another friend who is an artist he suggested I get some on a website, directed me to a few arty places and encouraged me to enter some of my work into exhibitions. My confidence grew and although I haven't really done anything wild or wonderful with my photographs my experience and learning about it is consistently growing. I joined a photography club which helped widen my knowledge especially with studio work and set ups and I enjoy entering the competitions, I enjoy even more whipping the butts of some of the older 'more experienced' toggers.
My photography has progressed to doing some voluntary work for a children's cancer charity, portraits for friends and soon a friends wedding. Ok so it doesn't pay well but I figure this is my training stage! I love it too... could you tell?
So where was I? Oh yes, turning 40 and taking one photo every day... well I would also like to perhaps try to keep up a blog to record my daily happenings and accompany my photographs and perhaps explain my choice of picture. I think basically what I want to end up with is 365 photos which explain who I am, what my life is about and where I am going in life. Beyond this I really have no clue what I am going to come up with or how long I will be able to keep this up.
Here goes nothing...
Saturday 31st January 2009
As a small child I used to feel that the weeks from Christmas to my birthday just dragged in I longed for it to be 'my' day and the drag of it was that in between times I had to suffer watching my brother celebrate his birthday, oddly enough I don't actually remember him having a birthday party but this was possibly because he is 6 years older than I so I guess by the time I got around to being old enough to remember significant things he was too grown up to have kiddy parties. Oh the age of innocence when cup cake buns with icing and sprinkles filled me with such delight, I hated when mum ran out of sprinkles and put those horrible jelly diamonds on the top. Mum always home baked us birthday cakes, iced and covered in silver balls with out name piped on the top. She did become rather adventureous one year and made me a very geometrical looking doll cake, she had long rectangular arms and triangle hands. I loved it and felt so special when all my friends Ooooo'd and ahhh'd at it. She still bakes for us, bless 'er.
Now the weeks from Christmas to my birthday just fly past, moreso this year since a really bad bout of flu floored me over Christmas and although I haven't been busy work wise I have been busy chipping away at sorting out stuff around the house that I fell back on while I will ill. I now kinda feel I have got on top of things again, for how long is another matter.
10 years ago my 30th birthday was celebrated when I was given a surprise birthday party, house full of people all jumping at ya, can't be good for your health in fact they should be banned by the Government! I was married back then and desperately unhappy, strange how time changes things so much. I have really no idea what my parents/children/friends have in store for me I doubt very much if they have a party planned, I did say just to keep it simple and small a family meal, that kind of thing. My girlie friends have organised a night out for us all next week so that shall be fun.
So today... shopping with H, dd2 who is 14 and needed stuff for a school ski trip next week. We had a nice little outing, she is easily pleased, t shirts were cheap and cheerful ones, new socks (only because I feel sorry for her room mates) another set of thermals, a necklace (just because) and a rinky dinky little canon camera for 50 quid. I took her into Index and opened the page at the canon camera and asked her if she liked it, she said yes and then immediately proceeded to flick through to see what else there was, pointed to another which was 30 quid more. I stopped her and said... its like this (pointing to the canon) you take this one away and damage it and I don't damage you (flicking over the page to the other one) you take this away and damage it then I damage you! She quickly got the message. So after shopping I decided I was going to conquer the 3' pile of ironing which was perched in my dining room. I now have several piles of clothes all over the table and sofa. But heyyyyyy I have a bloody wonderful empty laundry basket. I took a wee break in the middle to make dinner. Oh and it was bloody wonderful as well, chicken and mushroom stroganoff and pasta all cooked by my fair hand. H wrote it off as soon as she had a look at it and as she sat scraping the last little bit of sauce off her place announced 'Ooo that was lovely.' I mentioned that she had judged it wrongly when she looked at it and she just kinda smiled that knowing 'bloody hell why is my Mum ALWAYS right' kinda smile. The ironing was eventually finished and most has been put away, so I can reclaim my dining room as just that and no longer as a laundry! Oh and I discovered where I had left my glass of wine when I went back to gather up my pile of ironed clothes to put away. I don't normally drink much alchol but I had used some wine in the stroganoff and it seemed a shame to waste the rest, I have enough left for dinnertime tomorrow.
So now, I am online and have had a little look through some of the news sites, said hi to my friend J and then started this, the movie Troy is on in the background, I quite often have the telly on just for noise and movement than anything else. Eck I have been sitting here doing this for so long that my bum is numb! Anways thats that for today. Bed soon, was thinking of having a little cooked brekkie in the morning with the kids, we don't do it very often but when we do it is a treat. Scrambled egg, toasted croissant, mushrooms and bacon :)
Oh yeah and sorry this one is so long but I kinda needed to stuff so much in as an intro.
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